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29th Sep 2016

21 ways working in retail makes you want to shoot everyone then yourself

If you weren't such a goddamn saint, that is.

Rich Cooper

1. Customers arriving five minutes before the shop shuts

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Photo: Warner Bros.

 

2. Getting blamed for price increases as though you have any control over anything in this infernal place

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Photo: LucasArts / Disney

Oh no, sorry, overestimate. I meant overestimate. I can’t do shit.

 

3. Carefully arranging a display, only for it to be destroyed 10 minutes later

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Photo: @TiffaanyJohnson

 

4. People asking for a 50% discount because the item has a tiny scratch on it and therefore is literally worthless

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Photo: @fyrsyryn

Ah yes, of course. You know what, here’s 90% off.

 

5. Customers not understanding the difference between what they want and what is available

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Photo: Comedy Central

You see, what you want is something that we don’t have. Do you see the issue we’re having here?

 

6. *no price label on the product* Customer: So that means it’s free then? Hahahahaha

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Photo: JustEat

 

7. Giving your biggest, cheeriest “Hello sir/madam” and getting this in return

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Photo: Getty / Craig Barritt

Good morning to you too, dick.

 

8. Holding out your hand for the customer’s money, who decides to just dump it on the counter

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Photo: NBC

Oh good, you’re paying with all your loose change too. This won’t take a moment.

 

9. When a customer’s total is £0.02 more than they were expecting

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10. Customers trying to return something that’s soaking wet, slashed up and covered in jam, claiming that it’s “faulty”

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Photo: 20th Century Fox

 

11. When the phone rings and rings and rings, then you answer and it’s “What time do you close?”

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12. “It says everything’s 50% off” No, everything’s UP TO 50% off

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Photo: Mark Morgan

Check the not-so-small print.

 

13. Customers asking you to check ‘The Back’ when you know there’s nothing there

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Photo: Roland Tanglao

What a surprise, there’s nothing there.

 

14. Getting a whopping 15 minute break on your 10-hour shift because work is crazy busy

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Photo: @grace_bentleyxo

 

15. Parents treating your workplace like a creche and basically letting their children destroy everything

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Photo: Natalie Greco

Petition to have one of these installed in every shop ever.

 

16. “I have a voucher, but I left it at home.” Well you don’t really have a voucher then, do you?

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Photo: Coca-Cola / Wired

Also I’m fairly sure that voucher is from 1883.

 

17. When a customer seems to know more about your store policy and operations than you do

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Photo: Paramount Pictures

Really? Tell me more about how we’ve always stocked this product that we’ve never stocked.

 

18. When it’s 9am on a Monday and the first thing that happens is a customer yelling at you for something that wasn’t your fault

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19. “Oh wait, here’s 30p.” But I just pressed the £10 button on the till…

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Photo: Warner Bros.

 

20. “Smile!”

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Photo: TriStar Pictures

 

21. When you think it’s been four hours but you’re only 10 minutes into your shift

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Photo: Walt Disney Studios Home Entertainment

Feature image: @iEatBears / Fox

 

FFL-NEW

Topics:

Shopping,Work