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11th Jan 2017

‘Psychotic’ Tesco pizza advert is scaring the living sh*t out of everyone

What the hell possessed them to go with this?

Nooruddean Choudry

What were they thinking?

We didn’t really have Tesco down as the most edgy of brands. If anything most of their promotional material is family friendly, twee, and exceedingly dull. But what else do you expect from a major supermarket – their demographic is basically everyone, and so they can’t risk upsetting anyone. You can forgive them for being steadfastly vanilla.

So it is with some bafflement and not a little alarm that we came across this advert for their ready-made own-brand pizza. Instead of opting for a PG-cert wholesome image of a cheerful family munching on a Margherita, they opted for an X-rated psych0 killer, who looks like a cross between Heath Ledger’s Joker and a demonic Brendan Rodgers.

What possessed them (apart from the devil that is) to use the contorted features of a man who looks ready to burn down your home whilst you’re still in it is anyone’s guess. Perhaps it’s some kind of thinly-veiled threat – buy our fucking pizza or this man will microwave your cat and poison your dog.

Whatever the reason, we won’t sleep tonight, and neither will this lot…