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24th April 2018
12:48pm BST

"I'm serious. Can we just put him down here? Honestly, let's just leave him here. It'll be fine. We can leave him here and go for a Nando's and somebody will just bring him round later or something. We just leave him and he'll get delivered to us I guess. I assume that's how it works."
*literally his just-born child alive next to him* "Kate... Kate... I don't want to alarm you but there's a cloud that looks just like a Monster Munch"
"Kate, who is that woman talking to my brother?"
"That's Meghan, William. We've met her several times. You spent five hours with her in the waiting room."
"God he looks so lifelike. It's amazing what they can do with technology these days"
"When does it stop making noises?"
"Look there's another one"
"Hun, hun, you're smiling like you've just had a filling and the anaesthetic hasn't worn off"
"I just... I just don't understand how he can have more hair than me already"
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