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10th February 2017
02:39pm GMT

If it wasn't enough that you now look a fucking weirdo, they'll definitely be assuming they're doing much better than you, which as your comprehensive research shows is simply not true.
However all is not lost. You can salvage this situation if you act quickly. All you have to do is follow three simple steps:
STEP 1: Breathe.
STEP 2: Unlike the photograph immediately.
STEP 3. Scroll (as fast as your scrolling finger will allow you) to the top of the Instagram feed and double tap the newest image on the page.
Here's how it works: When someone likes an image on your feed, you get an alert that lurks in your Instagram until you pop in to look at it. As long as your snoop-ee wasn't staring at their phone when you accidentally double-tapped the first photo, they'll only get one alert and should therefore presume you simply liked their latest update.
Depending what their latest photo is, you'll probably just look a bit odd now. Rather than odd *and* desperate. Which is a marked improvement on where you were five seconds before.
You're welcome.