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26th Feb 2019

Funeral firms suing South African pastor over ‘fake resurrection’

Kyle Picknell

You’re laughing at the feature image aren’t you? If not, why aren’t you laughing at the feature image?

A group of undertakers – as in, actual undertakers, not a gang of clones of the former wrestler – are suing a South African pastor over a fake resurrection. As in, this self-styled prophet claims to have a resurrected a dead man from one of their coffins. The whole thing is bizarre.

The funeral companies allege that the pastor, Alph Lukau, manipulated them into being involved in the hoax. You can watch the spectacle below, which, unsurprisingly, has been ridiculed by just about everyone with a smartphone. Give it a watch, see if you can figure out why:

There are three funeral companies in total suing Pastor Lukau – Kingdom Blue, Kings & Queens Funeral Services and Black Phoenix – for what they call a ‘scheme’ designed to garner money by way of donations.

“There are no such things as miracles,” the Commission for the Promotion and Protection of Cultural, Religious and Linguistic Communities (CRL Rights Commission) told South Africa’s national broadcaster. “They are made up to try to get money from the hopelessness of our people,” they added.

Representatives from Pastor Lukau’s church, the Alleluia International Ministries church in Kramerville, Sandton (near Johannesburg), are said to have tricked the funeral providers in different ways, such as placing “Black Phoenix stickers on their private car” to look credible to Kings & Queens Funeral Services when they went to hire a hearse. They also obtained the coffin from Black Phoenix.

As Sowetan Live has reported, the church has now backtracked on claims that a resurrection and therefore a miracle took place, stating that the man was actually ‘undead’ on arrival. The church now suggests that Lukau had only “completed a miracle that God had already started”.

Extremely lazy of God to not finish the job in the first place, mind. Never rated him, or his worth ethic. Resting on the seventh day and all that? Shocking if you ask me. Build a hospital or something. Chancer.