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4th July 2017
01:49pm BST

Okay, let's address the issue head on: it is extremely unlikely that this man was enjoying a knuckle shuffle as Mount Vesuvius erupted. There are only three ways this could realistically be possible. 1. He was completely deaf and blind, lived alone and had no idea he was about to be buried under a thick layer of molten rock while getting his rocks off. 2. He had never masturbated, and faced with his doom, thought, "Fuck it, let's boogie." 3. He had an incredibly specific fetish in which the prospect of being covered in red-hot lava turned him on, and at last he was about to have his hottest fantasy realised. What is more likely is that the man was dying in agony and hadn't given much thought as to how his positioning would look nearly 2,000 years later. Nevertheless, it does indeed look like he was masturbating, which it must be said is somewhat amusing and has produced some equally somewhat amusing comments. https://twitter.com/EscoBlades/status/881574168558534657 https://twitter.com/McNarstle/status/866717705205886976 https://twitter.com/mikedelic/status/881527410520444928 https://twitter.com/FilledGrebes01/status/881688844827062276 https://twitter.com/haenbar/status/881810945370206210