23 things you find in every shit local nightclub 5 years ago

23 things you find in every shit local nightclub

1. A floor so covered with old spilt booze that your shoes stick to it if you stay still for too long.

Image: Twitter: @mandlecreed


2. A name that sounds like it's been thought of by a candidate on The Apprentice.


Image: YouTube


3. Some kind of deal on Jägerbombs, which are made with discount energy drink not Red Bull.


Image: Twitter: @onlymemories_


4. About 50 different flavours of Corky's, or something similar but equally bad.


Image: Twitter: @corkysschnapps


5. Drinks tokens which you're given if you get in before a certain time.

Image: Twitter: @MerryKish


6. The "main room" which mostly plays pop music from a couple of years ago with the odd new song chucked in.

Image: YouTube


7. A second "indie room" which basically just plays songs by bands like The Killers from the '00s.

Image: Twitter: @Leadmill


8. The occasional "special appearance" from a bloke who was on TOWIE four years ago.

Image: Twitter: @PopworldBpool


9. A "VIP area" which is just a normal table with a bit of rope separating it from the rest of the club.

Image: Instagram: @martiqe


10. Bouncers who are extremely strict on ID and the dress code given no one really wants to be in there anyway.

Image: Twitter: @KeaneNikki


11. A plastic tub of very old and withered limes for when someone orders a tequila.

Image: Twitter: @ElkBar_Fulham


12. Horribly bright toilets with "graffiti" scribbled on the walls.

Image: Twitter: @emmaswiftsings


13. And cubicles with doors that don't lock properly, so you have to hold them shut.

Image: Twitter: @hotelgmtweets


14. Fishbowl cocktails which have barely any actual booze in them and somehow glow in the dark.

Image: Twitter: @whatupjayyy


15. A DJ who thinks he's a lot, lot better than he is.

Image: eBay


16. An official photographer who would take about six terrible photos of you and your mates, which then appear on the club's Facebook page with a massive watermark on them a few days later.

Image: weknowmemes.com


17. Club nights with awful, awful names like "Frat Party Fridays" and "Candyland".

Image: tonybeats.wordpress.com


18. A pole in the middle of the dance floor, which probably supports the entire building.

Image: Twitter: @rubiafotografa


19. Walls that literally drip with sweat.

Image: Flickr


20. A really depressing smoking area / cage which is usually as busy as the dancefloor.

Image: Twitter: @fionnulamac


21. The smell of cheap, sugary alcohol which wafts through the entire building.

Image: Twitter: @mccarroll236


22. "Mr Brightside" always being the last song and all the guys in the room grabbing each other, jumping up and down and shouting the words.

Image: YouTube


23. A stamp that always takes about three showers to wash off.

Image: Twitter: @srahelizabth