Aldi is selling an outdoor log burner for a bargain price

The outdoor log burner wanter has logged on

We regret to inform you that, once again, Aldi are doing Aldi things. And those things include this: selling an outdoor log burner this Thursday (May 2) because, well, who doesn't want to sit in the garden this summer with a cold, peculiarly branded ale (also from Aldi) that costs 99p or something ridiculous, with their feet up by the fire? Nobody, that's who. Literally nobody. The hefty, firey boi will set you back £59.99, which, whilst not exactly Wetherspoons pint territory, is still far less than the £100 plus you'd usually expect to pay for a garden heater. But do be warned, you will need two people to lift it out of the shop. You will need to bring your biggest, most-able-to-carry-log-burners mate. As I don't know what else to say about the log burner (it burns logs), I will now list the things you can see on the box above you to fill out the rest of the article.

• Stylish design log burner
• Mesh panel surrounds
• 360 degree view of the fire
• Brushed bronze effect finish
• Burns untreated wood and heat logs
• Includes functional log store
• Includes log grate

I tell you what, if 'burns untreated wood and heat logs' and 'includes functional log store' doesn't get your heart racing, then I have absolutely no idea what will.