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Football

16th May 2019

Yaya Toure comes out of retirement after six days to play in Chinese second division

Kyle Picknell

Yaya, Yaya Yaya, Yaya Yaya, Yaya Yaya, Toure

– LAST FRIDAY –

According to Yaya Toure’s agent, the former Manchester City midfielder has informally retired from the game. Dimitri Seluk told members of the press: “Yaya has decided to end his career as a champion.”

“The farewell match which Manchester City gave him was, in principle, the real end of his playing career, not only in that team, but in general,” he added.

–  LITERALLY SIX DAYS LATER –

Apparently retired footballer Yaya Toure is reportedly signing for *checks notes* Chinese second division side Qingdao Huanghai. Right. I guess when an offer like that comes along you just can’t turn it down. Even if you had decided to ‘end your career as a champion’.

In fairness to him, Huanghai are top of the second division after nine games, holding a five-point lead at the summit of the table after seven wins and just one defeat thus far. There could be more silverware for Toure yet, even if it isn’t quite another Premier League winners’ medal.

They are in the market for a midfielder after an injury to captain and talisman, 36-year-old midfielder Joan Verdú, who most notably played for Deportivo de La Coruña and Espanyol in La Liga a few years back.

Just to make the prospect of joining them even more enticing, Huanghai also boasts former Bolton Wanderers and West Ham striker Ricard Vaz Te. Remember him? Ricardo Vaz Te? Portuguese and had a good name but was really, really shit? Yeah! That guy! Obviously he is playing in the Chinese second division at only 32 years of age. How could he be playing anywhere else?

Anyway, the 36-year-old Ivorian, who hasn’t kicked a ball professionally since December, when his contract with Greek side Olympiakos was terminated by mutual consent, is now scheduled for a medical at the club.

It does now appear that Yaya himself paved the way for the move, taking to Twitter just two days after his agent’s announcement to dismiss the claims himself. What a world.

If this is true, welcome to the Chinese second tier Yaya, I hope the fans of Qingdao Huanghai enjoy having the unofficial rights to the single greatest chant in the history of football.