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Football

16th Mar 2019

French court bans couple from naming their baby ‘Griezmann Mbappé’

Kyle Picknell

An absolutely outrageous decision

A family court judge has banned a couple from giving their child, born in November last year, the first name “Griezmann Mbappé”, as reported by France Bleu Limousin.

The case arose in early November, just months after France’s successful World Cup campaign, when a couple went to the civil services in Brive-la-Gaillarde to request that their baby bear the two first names of “Griezmann Mbappé”.

Why not simply request Antoine Kylian? Because that makes him sound like a massive nerd, that’s why. Griezmann Mbappé makes him sound like a futuristic police detective from a comic book. Or an underwhelming Football Manager regen you see a screenshot of on Reddit. Either way, it’s a great name. I would love to be called Griezmann Mbappé. Who wouldn’t?

Unfortunately for the two parents and the young badass to be, a family court judge banned the name citing that it could be prejudicial to the child, eventually deleting “Griezmann Mbappe” from the civil registry.

Instead, the child was given the much-more-likely-to-result-in-playground-beatings name of “Dany Noé”.

I’m not being funny but are the French courts aware of what Jay-Z and Beyonce have been calling their kids? Fucking lock them up for life. Throw away the key. Then make another key and throw that away too. ‘Sir Carter’. Have a day off Shawn. Give me Griezmann Mbappé any day.