How my rugby mates knocked some sense into me about my mental health

This week is Mental Health Awareness Week (MHAW). Some 1 in 4 people in the UK will be affected by a mental health issue each year, with anxiety and depression being the most common problems. The theme of this year's MHAW is relationships, because your relationships - with family, friends, partners, co-workers - are the cornerstone of good mental health. Here, one JOE writer talks about the benefits - on and off the pitch - of his relationship with his rugby teammates.

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"Don't worry about heading out there Carl. They may look scary, but they're all a great bunch of lads."

I first started playing rugby as a dare from a tutor. I was fast pouring my life down the drain, fucking up my academics in a silly effort to rebel.  Massively misinterpreting brutal honesty and rudeness for "cool" and intelligence, I wanted to hurt people because they had hurt me, and I wanted to hurt myself because I thought I deserved it and no one else cared. So a tutor dared me to play rugby with a local team, because if I wanted to wreck my body and drink loads, she reckoned I may as well do it making some new mates who could knock some sense into me.  When I first met my current team in Essex I was still incredibly raw to the game. My tackling was weak. I dropped the ball constantly and butchered chances (I still do). I was always reluctant to stick my head in the fire. But if my team mates were annoyed at me for being rubbish, they didn’t show it; for the most part the fact I was there as another body to run against twice a week outweighed anything. Turning up and trying every week was the only thing I needed to do to earn a bunch of hardened rugby players' respect. Turning up and trying every week is the starting point for everything you achieve in life.   After a few weeks training, I had to skip out on one training session. "Can’t be there Thursday because of family stuff," I said. The biggest, most intimidating prop I had ever seen turned to me deadpan and said: "We’re your family now Carl." That was that. That was all I needed. This week, I've been talking to sports psychologist and coach Steve Black about the positive impact sport can have on people's lives (expect a full interview soon). Regarded as a "second father" to Jonny Wilkinson, Steve is a kind, gentle soul who speaks almost evangelically about how all sport can help people going through struggles.   Rugby is chaos. It’s a sport designed to be a bit of a mess, full of moments of head-rocking pain and knockdowns, but providing you have 14 other people backing you up, you should be able to come through.   Sport can sometimes help you to feel like a winner, because when you take part you are surrounded by people who are happy to see you there. I think that's the start of something special.