Frame by frame analysis proves Love Island staged the Jack and Georgia kiss
Well, well, well, well, well, well, well. Well.
Well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well. Who would have thought?
Who would have thought that Love Island, shining beacon of moral integrity, the last remaining bastion of true love and romance, literally a scripted, set-up-based reality show in which attractive people break each other's hearts, on purpose, for Instagram likes, would ever do this to us?
Who ever thought that Love Island itself would snake us like Adam snaked Rosie, like Wes snaked Georgia, like Megan snaked Wes, like Alex continues to snake himself by being extremely, very Alex?
Prepare yourselves before you look at this people. This is something that goes deep, very deep, right to the very heart of our tenuous grasp of reality itself. After this, everything we know to be true must now be reconsidered.
Is 2+2 in fact 5? Is the earth in fact flat? Was the moon landing indeed faked?
No, not at all. A definite no to all of them. But still. This is, without hyperbole, but also definitely with hyperbole, the Zapruder film for millennials.
Feast your eyes on the cover-up of all cover-ups below, as Caroline Flack's additional revealing angle of the Georgia and Jack kiss is shown alongside the original footage and the discrepancies become obvious:
— The Tab (@TheTab) July 10, 2018
Nobody was sure who initiated what after Georgia and Jack kissed following a date, despite the fact that at the time Jack was happily coupled up with Laura. Obviously, since the incident and all the consequent drama surrounding it they have broken up with all the grace and ease of a water buffalo trying to clamber out of a bathtub.
To get to the bottom of who instigated the relationship-destroying moment, which has since caused extensive drama a wide range of contestants, even Ellie for some reason, Love Island: Aftersun presenter and excessively dramatic pauser when she can actually be arsed to visit the villa to do some dumping, Caroline Flack, decided to shed some light on the incident.
To do so, she enlisted the help of the best performer at the 2018 World Cup in Russia not named Kieran Trippier, VAR, to apparently dig out new camera angles*.
This is what happened:
WHO KISSED WHO? 💋 @carolineflack1 has dug out even more camera angles to get to the bottom of the question on everyone's lips this week... Bring on the VAR! #LoveIslandAftersun pic.twitter.com/80s4dWD8ah
— Love Island (@LoveIsland) July 8, 2018
So now we know that was all a lie, that was just all a complete bare-faced lie, what else have they been hiding?
There are greater conspiracies at work here people. There must be. Let us search for the truth and uncover it once and for all, together.
Personally I have been very, very suspicious of Alex's unerring ability to remain on Love Island despite not actively participating in any of the core activities that the show requires.
After all, this is a man whose idea of grafting is sidling over to a woman and asking them if "they support the football".
How is he still there?
And is Jack really the soundest bloke in the history of the world?
And is Megan actually a state of the art sex-robot assassin being tested on real victims?
And is Wesley's hair just drawn on like a Lego figurine?
And is Georgia as loyal as Georgia thinks Georgia is?
These are all now important questions. We must find out. We must know, once and for all.
*film the scene again a couple of times