Most of us did weird things in our formative years, but how many can say they had a diary dedicated entirely to SpongeBob SquarePants?
18-year-old
Jack Rowe may have grown up in the real world, but his head was clearly focussed on the big issues in Bikini Bottom. That's fair enough; it's a pretty unique show.
The teenager came across his old diary and, luckily for all of us, decided to share the evidence on Twitter.
The first entry was essentially just a straight-up confession of love to the talking sponge that famously lives in a pineapple under the sea. Bearing in mind that this would have been a time where a lot of kids were into Nickelodeon cartoons, Jack boldly introduces himself as his "biggest fan ever bigger than everyone else".
Then the fandom started to get a bit intense. We don't have any issue with SpongeBob as a role model - he's generally a great guy. But actively wishing for holes in your body is maybe a step too far. It's probably a good thing children don't typically have easy access to drills...
And he got philosophical too, asking SpongeBob if there was "a reason Squid is never happy?" All the notes were signed off with more declarations of love. They were so genuine that if SpongeBob wasn't a fictional cartoon character he would probably have been willing to overlook the frequent spelling mistakes.
Jack later told
Metro that his 11-year-old brother had originally found the old diary, who found it 'odd'.
"He came up to me and was like Jack wtf is this?
"I was literally disturbed, I couldn’t believe how weird and illiterate I was as a child!
"I don’t really know what possessed me to go as far as to write a diary about SpongeBob."
The sad news was that he also confirmed that he no longer writes to SpongeBob, which is a shame. That should have been a friendship built for the long haul.
