Gordon Ramsay dresses up as Mrs. Doubtfire on children’s TV and looks scarily convincing

He’s done this before. This is definitely not the first time he’s tried this outfit.

Imagine you’re Gordon Ramsay. Imagine you’re Gordon Ramsey with all that money and a nice big house. It’s a great life when you’re busy filming. But now it’s quiet. It’s really quiet. You’re bored. The kids are at school. Your wife is at work. It’s midday on a Tuesday. There’s nothing to do. You’re absolutely sick of cooking or talking about cooking or thinking about cooking. There’s no-one around to shout at. There’s nothing on TV to shout at. What do you do? Do you take the dog for a walk? Or do you dress up like Mrs Doubtfire? Yeah. Yeah, you dress up like Mrs Doubtfire. And you absolutely love it.

The image of Gordon Ramsay in makeup, a wig and a skirt is either nightmarish or quite an alluring one, depending on your feelings towards him and how many drinks you’ve had. The reality… well, the reality is even worse than you could have imagined. Gordon Ramsay dressed as Mrs Doubtfire looks exactly like all your least favourite school dinner ladies combined into one soul-destroying totalitarian monster.

In other words, Gordon Ramsay dressed as Mrs Doubtfire looks like this.

That’s him on the left. He’s about to confiscate your football. He’s about to make you finish all your peas before you can go back outside.

There he is, pretending to be all kind and caring but really he’s just waiting, counting down the seconds, until he can pretend to feel a drop of rain and send you all inside for wet lunch. He fucking loves it. He once made you stand up against the wall because you were running too fast and, in his words, “were out of control”. You were 8 years old.

Why has he dressed up like Mrs Doubtfire for an upcoming season of MasterChef Junior? I don’t know. But what I do know is this: he did not have to be persuaded. He did not have to be asked more than once.

“Gordon, can I have a word?”

“YES. WHAT? WHAT IS IT? WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WANT?”

“We were thinking it might fun if you dressed up as Mrs Doubt-”

“Yeah sure, fine, whatever.”

“Wait, what?”

“I SAID YES DIDN’T I. I SAID I’D DO IT. NOW FUCK THE FUCK OFF PLEASE. NOW. LEAVE ME ALONE”

*waits for producer to leave, slowly opens his secret wig drawer*