Every now and again, someone scores a goal that leaves you unable to speak.
Not “what a hit”, not “Aguerrrooooooooo”, not some other well-made soundbite that’s been tried and tested by commentators for years.
Sometimes a goal is scored that is so incredible, so remarkable, so physics-defying and jawdropping, that you’re unable to speak.
All that’s left is you making some some of weird, deep guttural noise that sounds like you’re either in a lot of pain, or in a lot of pleasure.
Here’s the audio from commentator’s around the world when Zlatan scored *that* bicycle kick against England.
For years, the folks at EA Sports have snuck in secret ways for gamers to score these sorts of games in FIFA.
Goals that only the best, only the most practised, and only the most “fuck it, I’ll have a pop from there” ballsy would be able to pull off.
Goals that, if you manage to pull them off, leave you making that weird guttural noise.
And if they get scored against you, you’re just left there, shaking your control pad, dropping f-bombs and claiming the game is broken.
And then every week, EA Sports compile them for a playlist to make you wonder just how it is all possible.
FIFA 17’s Goals of the Week compilations are some of the eye popping football clips around right now, and their Round 2 compilation is no different.
Remember when Stormzy said this about being good at FIFA?
When I say I'm good at FIFA I ain't talking bout yh I'm alright I mean I will 6-0 you in front of your mum then throw the pad at her
— Stormzy (@stormzy) October 20, 2014
Yeah, meet the crème de la crème of FIFA 17. And we thought we were good just because we knew how to bag a penalty in the new game…
You can catch up on the latest episode of JOE’s Football Friday Live right here…
