9 key differences between Love Island Australia and Love Island UK
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Love Island Australia is currently underway in the tropical location of Fiji.
While it's been just over two months since our beloved Love Island UK finished up, it's likely that in such vulnerable times, you're considering alternative methods of filling the enormous void left by the show.
Perhaps you've joined a gym, decided to work up some overtime at your job, reconnected with old friends, started taking Bridge classes with your mum, or adopted several dogs despite your landlord's insistence that pets are forbidden from the premises.
I'm here to tempt you with something else. What if, bear with me, you were to watch Love Island Australia? It's basically the same as our series, except the contestants are Australian, the villa is in Fiji and a few other minor discrepancies.
Before you make up your mind, allow me to detail the differences.
1. The islanders have their names printed on their pillows because otherwise they will forget where to sleep
It's a very horny way of getting around using name tags, but we simply have to accept that Australians are entirely different people to Brits. These handsome young adults might be in Fiji, but they're not immune from forgetting where they should be sleeping at night. If anything, the UK show could learn a thing or two from this savvy trick. Ellie Belly's bed-hopping was frankly a promiscuous and logistical nightmare.
2. It might look like these islanders are living in paradise, but actually, their fruit isn't fully ripe
The UK version of Love Island is basically a three month all-expenses-paid holiday, but things are a lot different on the other side of the world. Their Australian counterparts are living in squalor as they're being subjected to underripe fruit. Islanders, you need to form a union. This simply wouldn't fly in Mallorca. Maura Higgins would spit upon an unripe avocado, and rightfully so.
3. These future influencers are also completely bored out of their goddamn minds for 24 hours a day
During a quiet moment of reflection, the islanders all congregated in the bedroom to engage in such activities as giving multiple high fives to each other in quick succession, slapping each others' chests and what appears to be a game where you slide your mobile phone across the carpet from one person to another. All in all, the boredom levels appear to be the same as the UK Love Island inhabitants', but the time-passing activities are far more innovative.
4. Their names are more expensive than ours
Cartier! That is a shop name that you see on holidays when you realise you've wandered into the expensive part of town. British Love Island legally has to have names like Dean, Amy, Jack, Tom and Megan so that viewers can relate to them. Everyone knows a Megan, or at least they should. Nobody knows or wants to know a girl legitimately named Cartier.
5. The Australians are trusted with glassware!
In the ultimate act of cultural disrespect, the Australians have been trusted with legitimate glassware while they consume precisely one alcoholic beverage in the evenings. In the UK version of the show, our friends were subjected to PLASTIC beverage receptacles because, and to be fair, every single one of them was a liability in that villa. Even after leaving the villa, they couldn't pop champagne corks without going blind (Get well soon, Theo).
6. Their front door is really shit, like laughably shit
A pink set of double doors with a half-heart handle on either side? That is some weak design. It looks like a prop cardboard door on the set of a primary school play, where you can visibly see a member of staff opening and closing the doors throughout the performance to prevent any injuries, which really takes you out of the enchanting world of Robin Hood. Seriously, Australia, level up. Get a bigger door and also never close it, just like your British counterparts.
7. Their sunglasses are, on average, 66% smaller
Possibly due to the climate or altitude, the sunglasses on Love Island Australia are very tiny. The contestants wear them without a hint of irony, fully risking the health of their retinas by exposing most of them to the sun. Look at those shades. They barely even cover the iris. What are they, for ants?
8. The islanders are trusted with inflatables in the pool
In a first for the Love Island franchise, the Australians are treated to a giant inflatable flamingo pool toy for their pleasure. Compared to the UK islanders' pool, this is a real treat. The Brits merely had each other to rely on for swimming pool ride-alongs, proving themselves as innovators in times of need. But the Australians got a flamingo and they didn't even have to blow it up themselves.
9. Overall, the level of banter is different
It's not worse, it's not better. It's just different. There's a real 'LADS! LADS! LADS!' feel about the villa, possibly spurred from the fact that it is half full of LADS! and the other half are LADS! enablers. Everyone is stupidly handsome, therefore they haven't had to work on their personalities a huge amount in the past. Look, it's fine. It'll tide you over until winter Love Island begins. Give it a go!
Images via 9 Now