Is this the best they can do to shut him up?
The Daily Mail stands for many things, and against many more. Love them or loathe them, they have an audience and a standpoint. The circulation of their print edition may be falling rapidly, but 1.5m is still a decent number.
Their Mail Online figures are significantly healthier, mainly thanks to salacious images of half-naked celebrities on holiday and references to how the children of famous people are 'blooming' into net-yet adulthood. Of course they also trade in vitriol.
It seems there's a notable audience out there that appreciate young girls being referred to as 'leggy', whilst taking pleasure in the demonisation and dehumanisation of anyone who is a traveller, a foreigner, an ethnic minority, a Muslim, or an opinionated woman.
They abhor any sympathy towards Syrian refugees and their plight. They also hate the EU and yearn for Brexit even more than they yearn for Suri Cruise to hit sixteen.
So much so that they're more than happy to refer to High Court judges, who are merely doing their jobs, as 'Enemies of the People', purely because they disagree with a ruling.
https://twitter.com/ianwill/status/794838497525985280
One thing they detest is when people of influence and popularity show a little humanity that is contrary to the Mail's views. In such cases they take their revenge on the celebrity in question by besmirching their name with a good old-fashioned smear.
The intention is two-fold. On the one hand it is born of pure retribution for the insolent fool who dares exercise their freedom of expression; on the other hand, it is a sinister message to any other potential have-a-go heroes in the public realm.
Right now, the Mail and their ilk can't stand Gary Lineker. That's because the former England captain is popular, influential and very vocal about various issues in the news. He also happens to have over 5.3m followers on Twitter.
So of course the smear campaign was coming. Except, as salacious exclusives go, it was piss poor effort. A chap by the name of Sebastian Shakespeare decided to put the knife in...but it turned out to be one of those plastic ones from McDonalds.
https://twitter.com/GaryLineker/status/794850100581433344
Mr Shakespeare belied his famous surname by cobbling together some tripe about a honeymoon trip from SEVEN years ago. Lineker supposedly showed affection to his new wife on a flight from London to Naples in 2009. A fellow passenger didn't approve.
That's it - that's the whole story.
It's just vague enough to allude to something inappropriate without actually saying it, thus avoiding libel action. Alas the story is unintentionally hilarious in its obvious motives, desperate conceit, haughty tone and tepid content.
Perhaps most cringeworthy of all, it ends with the line: 'This from someone who presented the first Match Of The Day programme this season wearing only his underwear.' As if that adds a salacious element to the piece.
As you see from the messages below, it seems the public are more than savvy enough to see through the tiresome bollocks. Lineker will be heartened by the supportive reaction whilst understandably dismayed at the Mail's pathetic efforts.
https://twitter.com/KopiteLuke1892/status/794860565051166721
https://twitter.com/LeeRobson23/status/794851975401762816
https://twitter.com/SJRichards79/status/794851100104998912
https://twitter.com/Redman2/status/794850228012810240
https://twitter.com/tomwarren/status/794851650200604672
https://twitter.com/ciarannorris/status/794854017159532545
https://twitter.com/Cataphonics/status/794860216768753665
https://twitter.com/TheMediaTweets/status/794853420830167040
https://twitter.com/nottmtails/status/794858295337033728
